What am I, now?

A monster?

Why is my heart heavier than it was when I started the day?

Maybe, just maybe, it is a better idea to be still jet lagged.

it's a crazy world

All I need is someone to tell me, everything will be okay.

And I will be okay.

Even if someone tells me that nothing will be okay, but they'll love me anyhow. It's fine.
I will be okay,too.

Sometimes, disappointment sets in when you least expect it.


The one true thing I can hold on to is , fortunately or otherwise, myself.


so please, don't let me fly away.

If, and only if

Sometimes, I speak in codes. The most unfortunate thing about me is I cannot and unable to speak my mind sometimes. I have this innate censor which makes me politically correct, most of the times.

Most of the time, I know the right things to say.( If i don't, i am probably silent. but of course, I have my ( many) moments too). I cringe when I hear someone , maybe friend or family, say something offending or inappropriate to the listener.

Sometimes, this can be gift. Or a curse.

At other times, my big fat mouth ( yes, my moments ) shoots off like a machine gun from my heart. Words felt before uttered. Words which broke though my inner censor, I don't know how. Things which I think have to be said, need to be said. Though, it is not uncommon that I have no fucking reason why I say some things.

It's crazy because there is no specific purpose really, except the momentary smug feeling that I've been true to myself.

I am never one who takes the easy way out.
But what if the right way is the easy way , after all?

Hello Hello!

Hello, my name is Jane. And I am a jet lagged wimp.

Sure, there are more grown up issues I need to deal with, post-London.
Let the dust settle and nerves calm down a little.
More importantly, let the jet lagged, sleep deprived and under-achieving ( yes, we sense issues here with a capital 'I') wimp catch up on Vitamin S ( S for Sleep, not funny I know).

So there you go, the girl or the walking fish bowl? I bet my intelligence quotient right now lies between my thumb and my pinkie little finger. I have those noble, greater thoughts behind the limp mass of matter in my head called brains but it seems like such a chore to do them.

London was great. Night was cold and the air was dirty, but a fascinating melting pot of idiosyncracies and cultures nonetheless. But I figure, I wouldn't like the city much if I was there a century, a decade or even a year ago. Go figure - pun unintended

Perhaps, just sometimes, timing is indeed the key to all things mystic.

What lies beyond this London trip is , well, beyond me. Career-wise ,at the very least. I'm not too sure I will get my answer. I just know I am ready to leave on a jet plane once again.

Honestly, I never knew what wanderlust meant to me until i got this current job. Though, i don't actually foresee a lot of flying or what not in the near future. Like what I have said earlier, I'm not too sure where I stand right now. Is this blessing in disguise, or otherwise?

I know there are many people like I am, searching and looking for answers. Sometimes, answers to questions we do not even know we have. Life's strange like that.

And I think sometimes, we all feel that we are lacking, pale in comparison with our perceptions of others ( happily conjured up by our minds, fueled incessantly by what nots on Facebook and Twitter? Sounds familiar?)


God loves me. And I can feel it.
Thank you, my Lord.


Don't know why but these words just came out. :)