Short and sweet

Let's put it short and sweet. It is long long week, this week.

I wonder if I will ever see the light at the end of the tunnel, or just the end of the tunnel for that matter.

Just to make myself feel a wee bit better., i went to google for some motivational quotes before I put myself to bed. ( ok I know it sounds quite neurotic but my brains are yet again fried.)

One quote which caught my eye which is somewhat similiar to my favourtie quote:

“Being defeated is often temporary, giving up makes it permanent.”

and also to comfort my frazzled mind and fuel what ever optimism that I have left,

If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.”

To everyone else who needs it ( I, for sure do):

“If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

If you are having a bad day, I hope I have somehow made you feel better. Or at least take comfort that you're not alone in the rain :)

Remember, we are just queueing for the Rainbow ( because I'm a Sing-a-Poreannnnnn).

1,2,3 BUY

At a ripe old age of 27, I think I have been a living a very frivolous life.
What started off a habit has however,started to come across as an addiction, an uncontrollable urge to shop.

Everyone I know likes pretty things. That's normal. There will be time for a splurge and time to cave in impulse purchases. I'm sure that is normal too. For myself, I have soft spot for clothes ( another smaller spot for everything else). To say that my closet is bursting is an understatement.

From time to time, I will ponder and analyse my actions and of course, the motivations behind them. Has the whole experience of shopping and owning an item of beauty part of an attempt to (over)compensate the insecurities I have brought over from my teenage years ?( Being taunted for being fat and unattractive in high school has remained, the most unfortunate and embarrassing incident in my life.)Or has that impulsive behaviour manifested from the dissatisfaction lying beneath my consciousness? Is it true that I'm bored with life?

Sometimes, it's so strange that the more I earn, the most I spend.

Like many addicts, it is always easy to justify a purchase or to cave in to temptations. Unlike most of them, I think I am pretty aware that this is a problem I have to overcome in order to build my big fat financial nest which I always want.

If you think why the hell I am airing my own dirty laundry out here, whining about my weaknesses and the inability to exert control on oneself, think again. I would say, this is akin to staring yourself at the mirror,except that you are looking at yourself so deeply that it will rob you of your basic humanity if you ever dare flinch. Why be afraid of yourself when it is just..... you?

I don't believe in never falling, but getting up again when you fall. I believe in the strength, the courage and persistence required to stand up after the fall.

All those people who said they never fail, that they are all saints, we know they are liars. They are lying.

So let's get back to the topic I was harping on, I am still not too sure how to overcome this irritating habit of mine but I'll figure.

I have read somewhere that we tend to shop less when we hang out with non-shopaholics ( I think they just meant people who has less inclination to shop i.e. with less control or just not particularly interested in collecting 'things'). To all my un-shopaholic friends, I will appreciate greatly if you decide to go out with me more.

I'm nice and I don't bite.

However, it has been said that I tend to produce the effect of inducing non shopaholics to purchase they didn't think they need. Why, i should be a saleswoman no?

'你是从中国来的阿?'

Last week, I spoke to a particularly sullen faced toilet cleaning Aunty ( known as Hygience captain elsewhere, in Hong kong Airport I remember correctly. Which, by the way, is a mighty fine thing to do if you ask me.I suspect the reason why the Aunty was sullen faced is because she feels unappreciated and then some.) asking if she had taken her lunch.

The perpetual frown became a smile as she answered my greeting/question. Instantly, she was apparently in much more agreeable mood for she decided to engage yours truly to a wash-basin-conversation ( as opposed to water cooler gossip catch-up but this will do.).

'你是从中国来的阿?'

I said, no sorry Aunty me is Singaporean but my mum is Taiwanese ( in Chinglish of course, my preferred language.)Needless to say, I was equally amused as I was puzzled. Do I sound like I'm Chinese chinese( great pronunciation) or do I look like a China stereotype to her?

Like it or not, everyone has an impression, a stereotype for people who are different from us. Before I delve further into Land of No-return ( which is a given as you can see digression is part of my life), let's just say that one would have taken it as a compliment if the Aunty has asked if I'm a Japanese ( Kawaiiiii haha) or Ang Mo ( MTV VJ-ish Pan Asian looks. ok fine we all know it's not going to happen).

It's indeed an irony if you read my previous posts ( you know what I am aspiring to be ).Or does it mean that my efforts (even though I'm not quite sure what it is exactly.)are paying off ?

Today, I offered the lady who vacuumed the area around my desk Fisherman's Friend ( yes, no pun intended. I'm friendly just like that.) because I heard her coughing and clearing her throat.

Being the jovial aunty that she is,she decided to chat me up ( sounds wrong , I know).

'你是从中国来的阿?'

Everyone I recounted these encounters to, laughed.
Yes, Life is funny just like that.

At the end of day, I'm glad to make their day slightly more enjoyable than the previous one. I am after all,truly, a dragon descendant from China.( I'm sure I was some kind of Imperial Princess in one of my previous lives. Just kidding.)

一山还比一山高 ( yi shan hai bi yi shan gao)

For the benefit of my faithful reader who cannot read chinese characters ( read: my boyfriend the omnipresent, pivotal presence in my blog. ha,ha), the title loosely means that there will always be one ( person/thing but mostly person, i think) better than the other.

Following my blog post on Thursday ( yes, the one drowning with incoherence and self flattery), I readily admit that I feel like and probably am a fraud in my first Business Translation class last night. For whatever credit I gave myself for my bilingual abilities for the bigger part of my life, I was acutely aware of my (lack of) competence (in both languages) in class. This is made especially obvious during class participation, for I was not inclined and unable to participate.

Who would have thought recyling in English can sound so 'chim' and lyrical in Chinese? - 物尽其用

And that it is not very polite to say '你明白吗?' to a Chinese counterpart， when you wish to clarify whether he understood whatever which have been said? ( It would be much more professional and polite to say, '关与我刚对A所做的解释，不晓得您还清楚吗？')

I'm not good at reading extremely long and fancy sentences in both Chinese and English ( even though I'm pretty at writing them. Strange!), mainly because it tangles up my brains and burns too much of my brain cells. Guess what, it is the exact kind of sentences which we are suppose to understand and translate in class.
( And of courses, the nuances and cultural intricacies involved in the languages.)

For lack of a better word, this course means business ( no pun intended).

I will hopefully be able to share more about I have learnt and about to learn in the near future on this blog, a platform which I can recap the interesting, the important and my learning curve.

Besides whinning about my life...

I do have good things to share ( not 4D numbers or porn videos, if you are thinking. Jsut saying).

In a heroic bid to inject positivity ( and productivity) and great energy into my life, I have enrolled in a business chinese translation class which starts tomorrow. Yes, i know it's a Friday and I can imagine it being a pain to drag myself to class after work. ( I have skipped different classes, at various stages of my life, for plenty of reasons. Well, I believe laziness causes hallucinations and acute loss of motivation.)

But that's my call and I have chosen it ,for most part,because of my interest and also ( for lack of better word) to claim my niche. It's more about polishing up my edge which differentiates myself from everyone else. ( even though it may very well be wishful thinking on my part.)

Like most of my peers ( read: Singaporeans), I am effectively bilingual. I'm neither a jia gang dang ( loosely translated as eat potatoes, meaning westernized, as opposed to Asians who prefer rice as their source of starch.) nor too cheena pok ( This is more complicated, mostly referring to people who prefer to speak in Chinese, watch Channel 8 drams and not-so-westernized haha).

But I have always been strong in the Chinese language. In fact, i strongly believe it was my distinction in Chinese which got me into University ( which by the way shows how fantastic my results are. but oh well..). It may be luck that I always breeze through Chinese examinations and I just happen to be able to speak Chinese properly (字正腔圆). The thing is I never thought it is an asset until recently.

Since forever, the ability to excel in Mathematics and logical thinking is both encouraged and applauded than anything else in school and also in my family ( family of traders, what do you think?). I am obviously unlucky with numbers ( it is not entirely clear whether this is directly related to my money management skills) and exactly known as a logical thinker.

I think you get the drift and that I am really sleepy because my brains are fried, and I don't think I possess sufficient coherence to walk you through my story of Chinese and I. For now.

In summary, I am taking this Business Chinese Translation so that I will be more confident in both verbal and written business communication in Chinese. Actually, my plan is to be so damn good at all things Chinese and whatever else I do that I can one day conquer the world and head something something of APAC( Greater China.) Something Something great. Ambition must be accompanied with action.

Even though I havent decided if I am ambitious in the first place. ( Inertia,complacence and laziness are inherently both my best friends and enemies hahahah).

The course costs me $652.70 in cash and 30 hours of my precious time.

Ouch. It will be worth it somehow, I will make it worth it.

Sometimes I wonder I worry too much..

because I'm afraid I will jinx all the good things up or does my subconscious just refuses to believe I deserve the good stuff.


I don't know. I get apprehensive when I receive good news.

Anyway, I feel like impulse shopping now. That says a lot about me, no?