A Little of Everything....

This is going to be a totally random, knowingly incoherent and potentially self-gratifying post.
Hell, I don't even remember what i wanted to write now.

I just know that I have these thousands of words, thoughts and ideas,
swimming in my head.And I have to get it out.
For the well being of those around me, that is. Been talking to myself too much.
And erm, people notice that. It gets a little embarrassing, after a while.
Even when you're me.

I'm feeling tired.Kind of.
Maybe, in more ways than one.
Not sad, depressed or hopeless definitely.
Just tired.

Well, pardon my tendency to blabber when my brain decides to hibernate. ( which is like, now)
And I'll probably spill some milk about myself. And, if you just happen to be lactose intolerant,
i suggest you quit reading. Right now.

Here it goes.( or pours, if you will.)

Family is important to me. Very, i may add.
So is Self-fulfillment.
This isn't the best combination ever, I know.
Sometimes, some things gotta go.
And sometimes, I can't make everyone else happy.
Yet, every time, I try.

Not everyone understands that.
And i don't make a habit of explaining myself.

On a different note,

The thing about growing old is that if you're not careful,
you're probably end up becoming the very kind of person you despise,
just not too long ago.
And it's scary.

I may be young ( well ,relatively.), naive and ignorant.
But,I'm not stupid.
I see some of these people,
so warped,hollow and for the lack of a better word,
scary.
That I pray to the toes and fingers of my Fairy God-dam mother,
that i wouldn't become one of them.

They are these chameleons who seem to morph to something else all together,
as they pounced on different terrains, different preys.
I've seen them in action. And it's fascinating to see how they do it.
And I wonder if they know who they really are. Or what, in this case.
Revolting, isn't it.
I never have a soft spot nor affinity for Reptiles.
Not when they're alive, that is.

And there are others, who sometimes tagged along with Chameleons,
jut because they don't know what they themselves are and where they want to go.
They are, fortunately or otherwise, are less scary for the fact that
you might just feel sorry for them. Just a little.

Well, on a completely different yet still bordering on random note:

I don't usually like to admit it but heck, I'm a sucker for romance.
You hear me right. I'm a closet romantic, but I'm not very good at it.

Ah, this part of the post
is probably inspired by the the recent onslaught of this korean drama show that i catch on TV
( which in itself is a miracle, because i rarely watch TV now.)and the aftermath of my friend's wedding.

How embarrassing, right?

Annway, I know many smart, intelligent and level-headed women who get more than a little
tipsy on romance,flowers and cheap words.
Well, not very level headed, after all. Words are empty and cheap.So are women.
We know shouldn't buy them, yet we do.

I'll know. I'm one of them. I don't have to believe them, those words. And sometimes, my head just flashed, 'BULLSHIT' when I hear those sweet,gooey and honeyed words.
Yet,at the end of the day, they get to me. Still.
Sucker.

I'm not very good with romance.
For the very fact that i don't express myself very well.
And i hide very well, indeed.

So let's practise,

" Everyday, my heart sings a song. For you."

How does that sound?
Maybe, I'll learn and say it in Spanish.
Then, it may sound less cheesy.
Maybe.

To all my concerned friends, just in case you're all wondering ( And i know you're, don't lie),
I'm not in love with anyone, nor any one with me.

To end this admittedly gratuitous post off, I just have to say that I've been pretty well.
I feel smiley, again.
I've been making merry, doing ridiculously indulgent stuff and piling on weight.
Life's not perfect, of course, but I'll deal with it.

And you know what, it's good being me.